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Say a mean, then crass, thing: Despite her enormous chompers, her highness Serena can get it in her bath chair all night.īiggest suspension of disbelief: If Newald is supposed to be straight, why did he stop hanging out with a super hot chick with abandonment issues that lives in an ornate castle? That’s the definition of paradise.įinal review: When you think of the tale of Jack and the Beanstalk, you automatically think of giants. Say a mean thing: General O’Shauncey is a fat, unfunny twat.
![jack the giant killer you can do it jack the giant killer you can do it](https://etc.usf.edu/lit2go/static/ogimages/passages/3963.jpg)
Say a nice thing: Lisa is helpful and cute. Hilarious, glaring error: My favorite part of the film is when Jack dismounts from a nonexistent motorcycle. Castles, by the way, which are mysteriously suited for humans instead of giants.īiggest movie cliché: Oh crud! That vehicle stopped working at an incredibly inopportune time, huh? More cons: Serena is a human, right? How did she get magical powers?Įven more cons: Fuck Mark Atkins for that bullshit, superficial reason people traveled in flying castles. And that’s fucking bullshit.Ĭons: Honestly, who the fuck fires a pistol at a dinosaur? Anytime someone is shooting a gun on screen, this movie is failing miserably. Quick review: Not one actual “giant” to be found. My synopsis: Some species of dinosaur monster gets brought to England by a queen/witch, who hours later regrets her decision and helps bring about their destruction. When the creatures make their way to the ground, Jack must figure out how to get back down before they destroy earth and everyone in it.” Their synopsis: “A giant beanstalk brings Jack to a land in the clouds filled with snarling, evil beasts. Initial thoughts (Pre-screening): What’re the odds the “giant” resembles a dragon?
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Starring: Ginger Elijah Wood, that crazy lady Bruce Willis used to fuck
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